Are you ready? - deciding if and when to have sex

Do you ever feel that sex is all you hear about? It's on the telly, in magazines, the internet, you hear about it on the radio and in lots of music lyrics. People always seem to be talking about it.

Sometimes, it may feel like everyone around you is having sex, friends, people at school or college. In reality though, this is most likely NOT the case. People talk about it but it's unlikely they are ALL doing it. Sometimes, they just say they are having sex because they want to 'fit in'.

Deciding to have sex is a big decision. We sometimes feel we should be having sex because our friends say they are.

In fact, most 16 year olds haven't had sex (even if they say they have) and the majority of young people who had sex at 13 and 14, wished they had waited.

When to have sex is different for everybody - knowing when the time is right and feeling ready is very personal. What is right for one person may not be right for another.

This checklist may be able to help you to make a decision that's right for you:

• Do you feel you could say no to sex without it damaging your relationship?
• Can you have fun together without anything sexual involved?
• Do you both want it for yourself and not for the other person or to fit in with friends?
• Are you sure that nobody's forcing you, pressurising you or bullying you into it?
• Have you and your girlfriend/boyfriend talked about using condoms and contraception?
• Have you agreed what happens next, if you tell your friends afterwards or not and what happens if you fall pregnant?

You aren't really ready for sex until you can say "yes" to all of these questions - but remember even if you can say "yes" to all of them, it still doesn't mean you have to!

Remember though, whatever decision you make, don't be pressurised into having sex by your partner or by your friends and don't have sex until you are ready! Choosing to have sex is nobody else's choice but YOURS and if you have any doubts you may need to think about it a bit longer.

It's your choice and no one else's.